This is in response to the WordPress Daily Prompt: Ready, Set, Done. I actually cheated a little bit. The first two paragraphs were already written before I saw the prompt, but the rest of it fall into the 10 minute guideline. I did some editing, but there’s still more to do and the story isn’t anywhere finished.
Constructive criticism is always welcome.
It was all that I we had left to remember her by. A multifunctional tool, used to swat the flies that insisted on lingering around the hut, a duster for when the dirt, dust, and sand spilled in from the hillside, and a disciplinarian stick to us children in line. That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less.
I’m the oldest. The woman of the house now and I have to take care of the little ones. Well, there not so little. William is a year younger than me, 19, but he still acts like he’s the baby or rather he still wants to be treated like the baby. And he was for most of his 19 years, until mom had Clara and Tanya. They’ll be eight in a few weeks. Continue reading →
Kevin could feel the cold cutting through his clothes. He and the other soldiers huddled together trying to keep each other warm. Winter came early.
Kevin had only recently fallen off to sleep when Captain Torres roused him. “They’re on the move,” he said. If there is one thing Kevin has learned from Torres is that you must always be battle-ready. He scramble to his feet and roused the rest of his troop. They quickly lined the top of the trench with barely the tops of their heads showing.
The only thing they had time to think about was making sure the bullets in the chamber hit the designated targets. They could not concern themselves with the melted snow in their boots or the smell of frying bacon.
They called Kevin ‘Eagle Eye’ because he could see anything a football field away without binoculars. Scanning the field, Kevin spotted movement behind the tree line. He grabbed the binoculars to make sure his eyes weren’t deceiving him, but before he had a chance to focus them he spotted a muzzle flash and was barely out-of-the-way before he felt the heat of the bullet whiz by. He ordered return fire and as quickly as it started it was over.
He assessed his men. No casualties or rather none dead. There are always casualties of war. The mind is the first and the biggest. A piece of it falls in every battle. He learned that when he saw his bunkmate lying twisted and bloodied on the ground beside him. He puked and peed himself all at once. He remembered Captain Torres telling him, “It won’t get any easier.” He was right.
Your mind kicks into survival mode and when it’s not it reveals the hidden scars and wounds that have yet to heal. It weakens you and you’re left like a pile of human rubble.
As his men sat talking and laughing about the early morning events over their coffee, burnt toast, bacon and runny eggs, he wondered how deep their wounds are and which soldier wouldn’t return from his mind’s moment of weakness.
I have participated in all the WordPress Blogging U sessions and this is perhaps the one I will benefit from the most. This session is Writing 201: Finding Your Story
I’ve decided to take this Blogging U opportunity to do a few things:
1) finish a story I started writing for the Blogging A to Z Challenge
2) tighten it up by doing some serious editing
3) get some serious feedback on it
A little background on the story. For the Blogging A to Z Challenge, I decided to write a short story 100 words at a time. I would begin each section of the story with that days letter and end it with the next days letter. Continue reading →