I came to the conclusion a couple of years ago that happiness is relative, and that perhaps I would be one of those unlucky souls that would never find true happiness or love. I went from one bad relationship to another. Each one worse than the one before and even more unfulfilling. Thankfully, I’ve never been in any kind of abusive relationship.
For years the only thing I thought about was finding that perfect man, that would someday become my husband and us living in a beautiful home in the suburbs with 2.5 children and a dog.
Perfect. That was the first and one of the biggest mistakes I made. Thinking that there was some man out there that is perfect. I know it was a tall order to fill, but I set out on a quest to find that perfect man. Now, I’m an equal opportunity dater. I don’t care if he’s black, white, green, or purple spotted just as long as he treats me with respect and he’s not abusive in any way.
So, I set out to find this perfect man and let me tell you ladies, if you want to find that perfect man; he is not at a bar or the club — mistake number two. I learned quickly that I would not find my “perfect” mate there. But I also learned that I had absolutely no clue who my “perfect” man is.
I knew what I liked. He had to be taller than me since I’m tall, nice smile, employed, good sense of humor. But that was all surface fluff stuff. I had to figure out what I really wanted and needed in a man in order to keep from making the same relationship mistakes. In other words, I had to learn from my past.
I had to go back and look at all the guys I dated. What attracted me to them? What made me say they were the ones for me? Why did we break up? What qualities did I like and did not like? What did I or did I didn’t I like about his personality? These were the questions I had to ask. And that was just scratching the surface.