This is the first day back to some semblance of normalcy for me since my emergency surgery that was supposed to keep me out of work and off my feet for about a week (a week and a half tops), but as we know nothing in life is guaranteed.
I felt great and was ready to get back to the A to Z Challenge, school work, and even work, which was my plan; but unfortunately my body had other plans for me. A few days after I was discharged complications set in and back to the doctor and hospital I went. A fever, 101, low enough; but never looks good after you’ve had any type of medical procedure and a bit or rather a lot of vomiting and some other stuff I dare not mention here.
By the time I got to the doctors office my fever had climbed to 102.4 and the decision was made shortly there after for me to head to the hospital for some tests. Go straight to the hospital do not pass go Read the rest of this entry
Alright we are winding down the A to Z Challenge week and I’m actually fairly happy about it. Not because this has not been a lot of fun but because I have things I need to catch up on.
I’m not going to write a short story on this because as I was going over the song lyrics these three lines resonated with me on a personally level. So, I’m going to let this speak for itself.
Everybody wants me to be
What they want me to be
I’m not happy when I try to fake it!
And in the immortal words of Dr. Seuss
Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.
I’m a huge music, but you’ve probably guessed that since I’m using song titles and lyrics as my inspiration for the Blogging A to Z Challenge. Another one of my favs is Don’t Cry by Seal; which is my D topic on this fourth day of the challenge.
Today, I decided to go a different route and I used the lyrics to tell the story. I hope you enjoy.
Today I dreamed of you and those memories seem so long ago. You told me, “Don’t cry because you’re not alone and you’ll always be loved.”
Tonight my baby, I feel so alone. I hear your voice telling me “you’ll overcome the pain.”
I dreamed of you holding me close, and saying me, “Don’t cry tonight.”
“Don’t leave me now,” I cried.
You wiped the tears from my eyes and said, “my baby, keep me in your memories because you will always be loved.”
For six years Judith has had a love/hate relationship with Thursday’s, but more specifically Thursday evenings. She volunteers at the church where her father is a priest.
She hates it because it’s the day her dad’s church hosts the homeless and anyone else that needs a hot a meal, a shower, a warm bed, someone to talk, or a shoulder to cry on. ”I hate seeing these men and women come in. It just breaks my heart,” Judith said. ”And the children,” she said choking back tears. This was her lament every Thursday evening for six years.
But she loves it because she know she’s doing something good. She would say, “I love doing this because it’s God’s work, but I wish I could do more.”
She wants to build a housing complex for the homeless and the poor, so they don’t have to sleep on the street or even wonder where their next meal is coming from. She wants a place where they can get skills training, education, and whatever else they need to survive on their own again.
One morning she made that her prayer and she prayed that prayer every morning for months.
Judith and her father walked to the church on Thursday’s. It was an opportunity for them to catch up on the days events and prepare themselves for what was to come. “Daddy, that’s the perfect place for the complex,” she said pointing to a couple of abandoned apartment buildings.
“Yes, it is,” her father said smiling at her. ”We’ll have to pray for this, too.”
She stopped in front of the gate surrounding the buildings, clasped her hands together, lifted her head toward the heavens and began to pray. After her prayer, she and her father continued on to the church. When they got there there was a man standing on the steps
A man met him on the steps. ”Are you Father Crane?”
“Yes. And who are you?”
“My name is Blair Owens.
“Oh my God,” Judith said. ”He’s one of the richest men in the world.”
“I’ve heard a lot about you and what you do here and I had to stop by and see for myself. I like what I see and I want you to have this,” he says handing a check to Father Crane.
“Write it for whatever you want.”
“Daddy,” Judith says tugging on her father’s coat. ”The apartment buildings.”
“What apartment buildings?” Blair asks.
“The abandoned ones on Tisdale,” Judith says.
“Why do you want those?” asks Blair.
“To help the homeless and poor get on their feet.” She explains her idea to Blair and his smile gets wider and wider.
“That’s a fantastic idea. I wish I thought of it,” he says. ”They’re yours for $1.00.”
“What?” Judith says.
“For $1.00 they’re yours. Do you have a $1.00?”
“Really? You’re not playing a joke?”
“Nope. You can have them.”
Judith pinched herself to make sure that this was real and not a fantasy. She looked up to the skies, opened her arms, and fell to her knees. ”Thank you, God!” she said. ”I always knew you would answer my prayer. The prayer’s of these people.”
It’s been years now. The apartments are refurbished and people have gotten skills that have helped them get back on their feet. And now and then Judith asks, ” Is this real life or is this just a fantasy?”
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Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. ~~Oscar Wilde
I came across this the other day. I, too, like many of you out there struggle with forgiveness and resentment and coming to terms with what someone else did to you. I read this on Oprah.com and thought I’d share.
- Say a Prayer
Whenever angry feelings about a person who’s harmed you enter your mind, tell yourself: “We are all good, loving souls who occasionally get lost.” Pray for this person to find their way back to a happier place.
- Focus on Gratitude
Resist seeking happiness from the outside in. Instead, focus on gratitude exercises to bring happiness from the inside out. If you allow your self-image to be at the mercy of unpredictable events and unreliable people, your happiness will be forever on a chaotic roller coaster ride! Happiness must always be an inside joy! When you are tempted to focus on all the ways the world has done you wrong, instead count your blessings by making a list of the five aspects of your life that you appreciate. It is good practice to purposefully end your day this way to keep focused.
- Look for the Lesson
Many Buddhists consider huge difficulties to be a sign you’re an old soul—the bigger your misfortunes, the closer you are to enlightenment. Whether you believe this or not, it’s certainly cheery to reframe all your life’s bad events as tests of your character. If you feel particularly tested right now, ask yourself what the heck you’re being tested for! Patience? Compassion? Resilience? Forgiveness? Open-mindedness? What strengths must you develop further? Now consciously go out there and develop them!
- Maintain Perspective
If you’re going through a challenging time, remind yourself that this specific event is merely a part of your life—not your “whole” life. Consciously keep this “slice of life” perspective, and don’t let the event overwhelm you. As the song goes, “The best is yet to come!”
- Learn the Lesson
Develop a “student not victim” mentality. Vow not only to disentangle yourself from emotionally harmful situations, but also to consciously avoid similar situations in the future.
- Let Go of Resentment
Keep in mind a fabulous Carrie Fisher quote: “Resentment is the poison you swallow hoping the other person will die.” Recognize that when you resent someone, you are not only hurting yourself, you’re also giving this person control of your emotions—and you don’t want to give this person bubkes!
- Stay Centered
Recognize that when you respond with hate to hate, anger to anger, bitterness to bitterness, you are ironically becoming part of the problem. Choose to resist becoming like them and instead put in the conscious effort to remain a loving, soulful, happy person.
- Get Revenge Positively
Contemplating revenge? The best kind of revenge is living a successful, happy life. If you train yourself to consistently be more loving in thoughts and actions, your energy will attract more positive people and positive results. As Albert Einstein said, “You can’t solve a problem by staying in the same energy in which it was created.” To stay focused on highly positive thoughts, repeat this meditation ritual throughout the day: “Love, forgiveness, letting go, peace.”
Over the past couple of weeks, I have been creatively stumped. I believe I have come to a bit of self discovery about why and having figured out at least a portion of it I hope to resolve it soon and move on.
I mentioned in an earlier post that I work with four of the unhappiest women over 50, I have ever worked with in my life. I don’t talk about work outside of work and I don’t blog about it either and truth be told I don’t plan on starting now. This will be the one and only post about work (unless of course I get a promotion).
I have internalized issues I don’t normally internalize nor usually care about. Read the rest of this entry