This is My Destiny

When I checked my emails Saturday morning, I was throughly excited to see the email for my first Indie Ink Challenge. I spotted my challenge and immediately thought, “Wow, this is not going to be as easy as I thought!”

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This is My Destiny

I always knew when I was growing up that I was special and it’s not just because my parents told me so.  I was much more mature than the kids my age and never really got along with them.  I always hated those infernal play dates my parents would send me to, as I thought it was a complete and utter waste of my time, and the kids — well we just had nothing in common.  I would rather be at home or at the library reading or maybe writing or somewhere solving puzzles or just thinking.  Love to think.  I can sit for hours and just think.

I wasn’t happy in anything I set out to do.  I went to college and was a dual major, Biochemistry and Psychology.  I went on to medical school and had the pleasure of graduating as one of the top 10 in my class.

I became a doctor because I thought solving people’s medical problems is like a puzzle and you are constantly thinking, but I still wasn’t happy and I didn’t know why.  I found I was happiest when I was writing in my journal.  I would take my journal to work and during my break I would write.  I would get so caught up in my writing that I would often come back late.

One day after a 12 hour shift I was sitting outside on the hospital’s veranda writing in my journal when a colleague came over and said, “There you go again, writing in that book of yours.  What do you write that always has you so entranced?

“What I did that day.  What I wish I had done.  Or whatever comes to my mind.”

“Do you mind, if I read something?” she said holding out her hand for my journal.

At first I was taken aback, but then I thought why not no one has read anything of mine in a long time.  “Sure, why not,” I said as I handed over my journal.

She flipped a few pages back and I spied what she was reading.  It was a story loosely based off my patient Mrs. Darling.

Mrs. Darling is a crab of a patient.  She’s fortyish, but she acts as though she’s a hundred and forty.  She claims to have more ailments than the hospital has beds, and some of them I’ve never heard of.

Cynthia gives me back my journal and has this perplexed look on her face and simply says, “You’re in the wrong profession.  That was awesome.  I don’t think I’ve read anything that good in a long time.”

“Thanks.”

We sat and talked for nearly an hour and it was the best and most meaningful conversation I’ve had with anyone.

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When I awoke this morning, I thought as it is my day off I’m going to try something different.  I’ve gone through life thus far being very logical and believing that my current profession has always been my destiny.  But Cynthia has given me something to think about.  Maybe my destiny is my writing.  So, I decide to have my cards read.  I’ve never done anything like this and I am definitely going into it skeptical, but for some reason I think it will shed some light on what I’m supposed to do with my life.

There is this card reader I see on my way to work and the place is always packed with cars, so that’s where I go.  I pull into the parking lot and it looks like a slow day at the aptly titled, “This is Your Destiny.”  I park and sit in my car trying to decide if it’s the right thing to do or if I should pull out of the parking lot and return to my way life.

Two ladies step out of the building — one older and one young.  They hug and the younger woman turns and goes back inside.  I don’t know what happened to the older woman because I looked down, so she wouldn’t see me looking at her. I sat there, in my car, afraid.  Afraid that if I went in they wouldn’t be able to give me any answers and I wouldn’t be able to escape this dreadful unhappiness.  I closed my eyes and thought about my being afraid.

There is a knock on my car window.  I roll it down and the young woman says to me, “Why don’t you come in and have a cup of tea.” She walks away and I follow.  She shows me to a library.  I look around and every where I turn there are books upon books.

“Have a seat,” she says.

I plop down in one of the large wingback chairs, and I can’t stop looking at all the books.

“Are you alright,” she says.

“Yes. Yes. I’m fine.” I say.

“You seem distracted.”

“To be perfectly honest, I am. I haven’t been in a library in so long.  It feels really good to be in one.”  I get up and start to walk around and see what books are on the shelves.  Agatha Christie. Charles Dickens. James Joyce. Bram Stoker. Oh my goodness, and that’s just to name a few.

“I thought you might have liked this room.”

“What?” I say as I turn around.  “How would you know?  I’ve never met you or talked to you before.”

“No. I just had a feeling.”  She sits in the other wingback chair and says, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to frighten you.  I sometimes get a sense for what people enjoy and I got the feeling you enjoy books.”

“Yes.”

“Come,” she says as she motions me to the chair opposite her, “have a seat.”

Confused, I take my seat.

“My name is Lorna.  What’s yours?”

“J-, J-, Jay.” I stutter.

“Hello Jay,” she says as she pours us both some tea.  She passes me my cup, “what brings you here today?”

“I, um, I thought I would have my cards read.”

“I see.  Are you wanting any answers to anything in particular?”

“My destiny.”

“Got it.  But what specifically do you want to know about you destiny? Do you want to know about love, your future, career, relationships?”

“My career.”

She pulls out an ordinary deck of playing cards and starts to line them up on the table. For a moment there I thought, “she’s got some nerve playing solitaire.”

She flips the cards and says, “You want to know about your career and nothing else?”

“Nothing else.”

“Not even love?”

“Just my career.”

“You are a seven of clubs. You are creative, like to learn, read, and think. The career you would excel most in is writing.”  I feel myself smile big and wide.  “What’s that smile for?” she asks.

“Because, I’ve always loved writing and those who have read my writing have enjoyed it.”

“Well then perhaps that’s your destiny.”

I felt the smile go just as quickly as it came. “No, that’s not possible.”

“Why not?” she asks.

“Because if writing were my destiny, then everything I’ve ever worked for is a lie.”

“I wouldn’t say a lie.  Maybe slightly misguided.”

“How much do I owe you?” I bark.

“The first session is free.”

“I’d rather pay you now because I don’t plan on coming back”

She says in a very calm low voice, “Why does this have you so upset?  You came here because you wanted to know your destiny, and I told you.  So why does this make you so upset?”

“I have to go now,” I bark at her. “How much do I owe you?”

“Like I said the first session is free.”

I storm out of the library and out the front door.  I literally run to my car and practically peal out of the parking lot and speed off down the street.  As I’m waiting for the light to change, I start thinking.  Lorna was right.  I did go there looking to hear my destiny and she told me, so why was I so upset?  By the time I get home I knew why I acted the way I did.

Fear.

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I decided to write that fear away and came to the conclusion that my life wasn’t a lie, nor was it misguided.  I do enjoy being a doctor because I love helping people and on top of that they give me good story ideas.  I really believe if it hadn’t been for Mrs. Darling and the first time I saw her in that hospital gown open in the back and bare ass up I wouldn’t have half the stories I’ve written.

Thank you Mrs. Darling!

So, I may not stop being a successful doctor right away, and I may not be a successful writer right off either; but at least I know my destiny and I am now happier than I have ever been.

This week’s Indie Ink Challenge came from Amy LaBonte, who gave me this prompt: “The cards of your destiny fall into place on the table.  How did they do that? Which cards are they? How many? How do you or your character read them?” I challenged Kurt with the prompt “Stolen.”

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4 responses to “This is My Destiny”

  1. samshine20 says :

    Great read… that inner conflict of “do I continue down the professional path I’ve always traveled or do I give it all up to pursue my passion for writing” is very familiar. Keep up the good work, looking forward to more! 🙂

    Like

  2. Jason Hughes says :

    I’m so intrigued. This was a great first entry into the writing challenge, and look forward to more of what you have to offer!

    Like

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